Fixin' To Be Embarrassed

If you've spent any time with Miles, you've undoubtedly heard his tales about, "Papa Fixin'!". He's referring to his beloved Papa Lonkar and his much anticipated visits to Arizona. Papa Lonkar spent 30+ years working as an electrician for the Indiana Harbor Belt Railroad. He's the kind of dad who has spent his whole life working with his hands and has an impresive bank of knowledge to show for it. He seems to know all there is to know about anything that could need "fixin". His kids may joke that the reason he fixes everything himself is because he's cheap or because even though he is Croatian, he must have some Polish in him somewhere. He would argue that he isn't cheap, he's just "resourceful" and that there is no reason to pay someone else to do a job that you can learn to do yourself. Which is an attitude that I am pleased to see making a comeback with the younger generation in these difficult economic times. Papa Lonkar is now retired, but his good old fashioned, midwestern work ethic isn't. He seems to be compelled to tinker and repair in the same way that a mother or grandmother is compelled to feed their children/grandchildren a hearty home cooked meal.

When Papa Lonkar comes to visit us in Arizona, we become the lucky beneficiaries of his tinkering. From installing screen doors and child proof latches, to hanging shelves and tuning up the lawn mower, he does it all. When he's not playing with grandsons or combing the local stores for "buys", he's looking around the house for his next project. Let me tell you, we are more than happy to provide suggestions. I might also mention that many people vacation in flowered hawaiian shirts and sandals with black socks, Papa Lonkar vacations in tie dyed shirts. Our boys now enthusiastically wear their "Papa fixin' shirts".

All three of the boys are just nuts about their Papa. But for some reason, Miles and Aidan really latched on to this idea of Papa "fixin" things with tools. They often pretend that they are getting on their little cars and driving away saying, "Bye Mommy, I going to Dr. Joe to get the pokes and then I going to fix a fan!". Every time they look at a shelf that Papa has installed or a curtain rod, or a door latch, they say, "Papa fix a _____". They pretend that their plastic buckets are tool boxes and their shovels and blocks and plastic spoons are tools. Needless to say, my boys are all ears and eyes for anything that involves machinery, tools and "fixin".

This past week we decided to schedule a home security company to set us up with a monitored security system. On Thursday a nice gentleman named Jeff showed up at my door. He asked me about our many high chairs. I briefly explained the circumstances of our family. He said that he had two young daughters and couldn't imagine the noise level with us having three young boys. Once he got to work, I decided to wake my big boys up even though nap time was not yet over. I just knew how excited they would be to watch Jeff "fix" the alarm.

The boys eagerly scurried down the stairs to watch the alarm guy in action. I told them that they were allowed to watch from the hallway, but weren't allowed to cross through the doorway into the laundry room where he was working. Aidan quickly got bored and became more interested in watching The Wiggles. Miles however, was mesmerized. He continuously scootched his bottom closer and closer down the hall, inching ever closer to that laundry room doorway. I would remind him to scoot back, but before I knew he was right back at the doorway again. Miles and I had a talk....well more like a negotiation. We finally settled on the terms of a deal wherein Miles was allowed to stand up against the wall near the doorway, but no tools were to be touched and no doorways were to be crossed.

I walked back to where Aidan and Luca were playing, while still keeping my eye on Miles from the next room. I heard Milesy's signature jibber-jabber. It was as it usually was, very intent and matter of fact in tone and delivery. The alarm guy commented to me about how amazing it is that parents always seem to know what their toddler is saying, but the rest of the world has no idea. Suddenly, during the two second pause between The Wiggles singing, Hot Potato Hot Potato and Fruit Salad, I heard Miles say the word penis what seemed like ten times! I quickly hurried over to where Miles was standing, but before I got there the alarm guy popped his head around the corner and said, "Uhh, what am I listening to here?". Miles was telling him everything he knew about penises. "Aidan go pee pee in the potty with his penis. Uhhhh, Miles uh pull a penis and uhhh no way! and uhh no a touching penis and uhhh Dr. Joe touch uh penis and uhh mommy touch a penis and uhhhhh daddy touch a penis okay. Miles touch uh Aidan's penis, uh no way. Miles touch uh Luca penis uhhh no way. Okay? Okay."

OH MY GOD. I was so embarrassed. I'm thinking that this guy must probably be thinking that were are some weirdly inappropriate family. I explained to the alarm guy that Aidan had recently started to use his potty chair, which was located in the bathroom directly behind where Miles was standing. Furthermore, Miles had just learned that while taking a bath with his brothers, it isn't nice to pull on his brother's penises until they cry. He learned that only Mommy and Daddy and Dr. Joe were allowed to touch them. The man smiled and said, "Well that is an important lesson to learn. It's never to young to them to be safe. And boy do I know, potty training is a GOOOD thing!".

I was so glad that he had young children and was so gracious. I told Miles that was enough and tried to redirect him with an art project at the kitchen table. As the alarm guy was finishing up, Brian walked in from his day at work. Miles looked up from his project at the kitchen table with a big grin on his face. He started telling his Daddy all about how he helped fix the alarm, "Uhhh Daddy, Miles uhhh fixin da alarm. Uhh ina laudry room. An uhhhh no touching uh penis and uhh fixin with uh tools inaaaaaahhhh laundry room!" Here we go again! I guess it's safe to say that for the time being these are Miles' two favorite subjects. Lord help me!